Dunder Mifflin Infinity

So I heard about this new website called Dunder Mifflin Infinity that is obviously related to The Office. Apparently you sign up, join a branch and then compete with other branches in various tasks. They have a whole hierarchy setup so people can get promoted and earn SchruteBucks and each person has a desk that's essentially a myspace page of sorts. I was going to post about this last week, however it seemed to just be one big ad. However, the upcoming episode apparently involves this project in some way, so I thought I'd spread the word. Anyone want to start a branch with Matt as the manager?

The FAQ is here

By the way, does anyone else want one of these?

Charleston Remix

I know some of you have already seen this, but I ran across it again and decided it deserved more attention.

Awesome.

For those of you who have no idea what this is about, see this post

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #10: Your coworker in the next cubicle is probably stealing from you. Search his desk while he's at lunch.

Punch N' Rub

Gotcha.

Pocomoke in the National Spotlight

I found this picture of Tom interesting. He's in the middle of a congressional videoconference on education policy, filmed in front of a fake U.S. Capitol backdrop. The books behind him are fake, too. And his tie is probably a clip-on. But as far as I know, that's a real U.S. Congressman sitting next to him...looking really bored.

Boyfights Giraffe Style

If our brains were in our fists we probably wouldn't have evolved either...

And now, IED's in action:

Did You Say Mark Ruffalo?

Mark Ruffalo? Oh, sure I know him. He's one of my favorite actors. Such a nice young man. I must have seen Just Like Heaven at least four times. He and Reese Witherspoon make such a handsome couple. Did you see 13 Going On 30? I caught the first twenty minutes of it on a plane last year and I just loved it. Mark Ruffalo is just so talented. Did you know he once had an operation to remove a brain tumor? Such a nice, strong young man. No, I didn't really understand that Sunshine movie either, but he was as good as ever, wasn't he? Why, just last week I rented that movie about the serial killer because I heard he was in it. Of course he played his role perfectly (he's such a gem), but the movie was just awful. And apparently it was based on a true story! I hope Mark goes back to making nice movies, like Rumor Has It. He's so talented.

More Evidence of Domestic Violence

Thanks For Banner

It's good to be back. In the short time since my return, I've watched hours (yes, plural) of Sunny, had a nice river cruise, and even tasted that sweet ambrosia the locals call "The Cambridgeman." And now I'm doing a hock-n-blog - "grabbing a hock," if you will. I missed you people...

Pocomoke: A House at War

In the summer of 2007, violence broke out at Pocomoke among the residents over a series of Saturday nights.  What ensued included crushed windpipes, projectile vomiting, broken glass, and the feared "bricking" (all of these are true, by the way). 

Will Pocomoke ever be able to drink in peace again?  Roommate against roommate, brother against brother... it was a veritable civil war of tomfoolery.  

What follows is the first in a series of photos chronicling this violent summer:

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

Here are the correct answers to yesterday's Know Your Pocomoke quiz (apparently some people know their Pocomoke pretty well):

1) Tom and Richard. Though James and Matt both participated in Boy Scouts, neither had the strength of character nor the invulnerability to the disdain of their peers to follow through to Eagle.

2) Correct answers include Tied to the Tracks, Everyman, and Damn Yankees. I also would have accepted some of his earlier work, such as The Golden Goose and The Wedding Bells Shall Not Ring Out. To my knowledge he has never appeared in Pirates of Penzance, though I think we should all definitely spread that rumor.

3) The answer to this one was clearly Matt. He came back from his first semester at school in California with a whole new look. Unfortunately all photographic evidence of him circa December 1999 has mysteriously vanished, otherwise I would be happy to prove this.

Welcome Home, Old Bear!

Know Your Pocomoke

Welcome to the newest feature of Hock N' Blog, a weekly set of trivia questions to see who knows us best. Answers will be revealed tomorrow.

1) Two of the four residents of 1605 Pocomoke are Eagle Scouts. Who are they?

2) Like his hero Ronald Reagan, Tom was an accomplished actor before deciding to try his hand at politics. Name one high-school production in which Tom starred.

3) Which Pocomoke resident once had his ear pierced? Hint: this guy also experimented with "frosted tips" in the late 1990's.

Old Bear Comes Back to the Cave

When the nor'easters blow with the first frosts of autumn and the last of the salmon have retreated down the river and out of paw's reach, the bears return to their cozy homes to last out another winter. So it is with our own Old Bear. As of late tomorrow night, you'll find this gentle beast has returned to hibernate in the Mattcave.

It should be noted that although we have mentioned his name in this blog several times and even created a feature in honor of his questionable taste in movies (look right), Matt has never heard the phrase "Hock N' Blog" and has no idea that we created a house website. Be sure to leave plenty of comments welcoming him home so that his first taste of Hock will be a good one.


While we're on the subject, here's a quick list of the top three things we considered doing with Matt's room while he was gone but never got around to:

3. Put all of his furniture back where it came from (i.e. on Craigslist).


2. Leave his room the way it is but move out of the rest of the house without telling him, so that when he came back he'd find himself living with complete strangers.


1. Convert it into a pay-by-the-hour hotel room. This would have been a good way to raise some spare cash for Pocomoktoberfest, although we would have had a hard time explaining the condom dispenser on the wall, the vibrating bed, and the murdered prostitute in the closet.

Pocomoke: The Place to Come for Drunken Monkeys

To compliment our previous post on the drinks we serve:



It appears these monkeys do indeed have problems enough as it is.

Best of the Bar: Top 5 Drinks Served at Pocomoke

Looking for a good mixed drink? Try one of these classics served with love at 1605 Pocomoke:

5. Dirty Martini: Don't worry - apparently "dirty" just means "extra olive juice." We won't laugh if you ask for shaken, not stirred.

4. Pocomoke Mai-Tai: You might not be able to name the ingredients of that weird citrus juice Tom buys. To be honest, we couldn't tell you either. But mix it with rum and you've got yourself a stew going.

3. Gin and Tonic: Sure, you can get one of these anywhere. But at Pocomoke we make them extra country.

2. Pocomoke Chardonnay: Simple blend of vodka and white grape juice. Your taste buds say "chardonnay," but your brain says "I'm wasted."

1. Bexas Margarita: Screw packaged margarita mix and those dubious slushee-style margarita machines you see in bars sometimes. Using his own secret recipe, Bex makes the best margaritas this side of the Rio Grande. If you're feeling lucky, combine a Bexas Margarita with large quantities of week-old cilantro to recreate Old Bear's famous Mexican Bathwater.

Is it wrong to enjoy this?

For those that haven't seen it, the original is here

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #9: Vary your commute to work each morning in case you're being followed.

Pocomoktoberfest is coming.

10.13.07

Home brew and brats.

The O'l Bear and the Great Pumpkin.



Consider yourself notified.

Caught in the Wolf Trap

A couple highlights from our awesome trip to the 2007 Wolf Trap Ball -

Lydia and Colleen pose with real estate mogul and northern Virginia legend Robert E. Simon, founder of Reston (get it? R-E-S-ton?):

"I thought you just wanted a picture of the beauties," he told me as I was taking this photo.

Yes I do, Mr. Simon. You and your beautiful vision.

Wait a minute...is that Dr. Phil???

...um, no. Actually it isn't.

(photos courtesy of LMOton)

A Cause For Celebration!

I think we should all celebrate that the fact the Hock N' Blog just had it's first page rollover. In other words we've managed to create more than one page of content! Now some naysayers might point out that most of that space was video links that we didn't really create. Other may point out that what content we did create was merely incomprehensible dribble spouted by people with fourth grade writing levels and masochistic senses of humor. Rather than respond to these hock n' haters I will instead congratulate my fellow contributors on passing the first milestone of what will undoubtedly last at least a couple weeks.

Huzzah, and keep up the extra country posts

Leave Hock N' Links to the Professionals

Seriously, that video is so old it already has a stable of parodies:



I think we have a moral duty to our reader to only provide fresh internet videos without a blatant advertising message, like this:


This post brought to you by Hering Harmonicas "World Wide Quality in Harmonicas"™

The DeLorean Goes Back to the Future

According to an article in the Belfast Telegraph, Northern Ireland's most famous export since Bushmills is going back into production. Houston businessman Stephen Wynn has re-established the DeLorean Motor Company in Texas and plans to build 24 new DeLoreans from unused parts (apparently they have some spare flux capacitors sitting around).

The Telegraph piece is also cited in this excellent Wikipedia article.

It's worth mentioning that when I brought this news up during Naked Midnight both Tom and Richard scoffed at the idea. Who's the idiot now?

More Hock N' links

If you like Phil Collins and/or gorillas, you should definitely check this out:



(Thanks Jonny)

Hock-n-links

An advertisers take on flags

And a little clip to show us how dirty our minds are (NSFW)

Slight Change of Plans

Old Bear's Blockbuster Queue is up again by popular demand, but with a slight adjustment: it now features the most questionable Blockbuster decisions perpetrated by ALL members of the Pocomoke household, not just the Old Bear.

The Travails of Tom: The Continuing Education of Nico Souvlaki

Tom got off to a rocky start on the road to higher education this week, as he began his first classes towards a Master's degree in Public Policy at George Mason University. Despite hours of study, he received only a C on his first paper. Uh-oh.

I'll keep you posted on Tom's academic standing as the semester progresses. If you see this little schoolboy in the meantime, tell him to buck up - his hard work will be recognized one day.

For those that didn't watch the Emmy's the other night (and I hope that was everyone):

Arlington Gets Some National Publicity

We enjoyed this gem from TheOnion.com's "National News Highlights":

"ARLINGTON, VA—Nate Martin was so happy to drive home from Washington, D.C. without hitting a traffic jam that he briefly forgot how much he hated his house, job, and life in northern Virginia."

Corn-Crotch 101: The Official Sport of Pocomoke

History

The Patowomeck tribe of Virginia was the first to play perhaps the greatest of American sports, over two millenia ago. Of course, back then it was known as "maize-crotch." As the summer came to a close, the tribe would gather at the hollowed ground of the Pocomoke ('place of sore crotch') with the finest of their maize crop.

Each village would choose a strapping young man (who had not known a woman's warmth) to represent them in the competition. At noon on the first day, the maize would be distributed and the competitors armed.

What ensued may be sport at its most glorious.

For days on end the competitors hunted each other through the woods with no food or water to sustain them. When two men met, they engaged in combat by hurling their maize at each others' crotches. One by one the athletes became overcome by exhaustion and repeated pummelling to the groin, until one man was left standing. He returned to the Pocomoke victorious - the King of Maize-Crotch.

The Modern Era

The rules of Corn-Crotch, as it is played today, are simple. Project corn cobs towards another's crotch or prepare to receive a cob to yours.

An outstanding unreciprocated hit is known as a 'hootenanny.' This is how score is kept, and glory earned. For your family's honor, a hootenanny must be avenged.

In order for the hit to be recorded, the bowler must declare 'corn crotch!' as he launches his torpedo.


Standings

Maize Season 2007, PCCL 1-A:
The goal is to complete the season with the fewest (or negative) number of hootenannies.

Big Cat - 1 Hootenanny
Ol' Bear - -1 Hootenannies
Bex - 0 Hootenannies
Clint Danger - 0 Hootenannies

Welcome to Hock N' Blog / Pocomoke's Greatest Hits

A warm welcome to Hock N' Blog from Ol' Bear, JG, Bex, and Nico Souvlaki. This is the official blog of 1605 N. Pocomoke St. #1. Check here for all the latest information on our upcoming events, our lame jokes, some hilarious links, and whatever else we feel that you need to know.

To kick things off, here's a quick rundown of the Top 5 parties hosted here at Pocomoke over the last year:

5. Filterin' Thru BBQ

One word: sparse.

4. First Noel

Nothing especially memorable about this one except for the chocolate fondue, which is French for "tepid pool of chocolate."

3. 7-7-07 (also known as Ring of Fire II)

We thought that the once-a-century occasion of July 7, 2007, would be a great opportunity to throw a party that would be remembered for a century to come. For some reason, no one else seemed to appreciate the significance of the day. Still a good party, though. If you were there you might remember a delicious keg of Shiner Bock, which unfortunately did not age well in our basement over the next few weeks.

2. The May 19th Barbeque (also known as Ring of Fire I)

Yuengling, giant croquet, and a bizarre circle of tiki torches characterized this excellent event. The day will also go down in history as the day that the official sport of Pocomoke, Corn-Crotch, was invented.

1. A Turtleneck Christmas

Probably the best theme ever invented for a Christmas party. This was a tribute to a simpler time, the warm and cheery Christmases of the late 1970's. Those of us who were there will recall the turtlenecks, the log fire video, the popcorn strings, the Robert Goulet Christmas music, and the one and only appearance of the Ricardo del Fuego mustache.

If you were so unfortunate as to not have attended any of these parties, this list hopefully gave you some of idea of what we're all about. Keep checking back with us for a taste of the Pocomoke lifestyle.

And feel free to drop by our sister blog: http://www.horatiohornblog.blogspot.com/