Corn-Crotch 101: The Official Sport of Pocomoke

History

The Patowomeck tribe of Virginia was the first to play perhaps the greatest of American sports, over two millenia ago. Of course, back then it was known as "maize-crotch." As the summer came to a close, the tribe would gather at the hollowed ground of the Pocomoke ('place of sore crotch') with the finest of their maize crop.

Each village would choose a strapping young man (who had not known a woman's warmth) to represent them in the competition. At noon on the first day, the maize would be distributed and the competitors armed.

What ensued may be sport at its most glorious.

For days on end the competitors hunted each other through the woods with no food or water to sustain them. When two men met, they engaged in combat by hurling their maize at each others' crotches. One by one the athletes became overcome by exhaustion and repeated pummelling to the groin, until one man was left standing. He returned to the Pocomoke victorious - the King of Maize-Crotch.

The Modern Era

The rules of Corn-Crotch, as it is played today, are simple. Project corn cobs towards another's crotch or prepare to receive a cob to yours.

An outstanding unreciprocated hit is known as a 'hootenanny.' This is how score is kept, and glory earned. For your family's honor, a hootenanny must be avenged.

In order for the hit to be recorded, the bowler must declare 'corn crotch!' as he launches his torpedo.


Standings

Maize Season 2007, PCCL 1-A:
The goal is to complete the season with the fewest (or negative) number of hootenannies.

Big Cat - 1 Hootenanny
Ol' Bear - -1 Hootenannies
Bex - 0 Hootenannies
Clint Danger - 0 Hootenannies