Bextacular Mixtape

Alright, for my mixtape I went with songs that are instantly recognizable, and overly popular in their day for some unknown reason. Personally I blame payola. Last, and most importantly, the songs should be embarrassing should you have to walk around a city blasting them from a boombox. Anyway, here we go.

1. Barbie Girl by Aqua

Who knew a song about how easy a girl is would be so popular, especially among tweens?

2. MMMbop by Hanson

Yes, great minds thought alike on this one. Although I don't have an endearing tale that connects it to my childhood, I just think it's a shitty song. From the moaning at the opening to the indecipherable lyrics.

3. My Humps by Black Eyed Peas

It hurts me that the Black Eyed Peas have fallen so low. They used to be a respectable hip-hop group until they decided they needed more T&A in their act and added Fergie. Who, by the way, is not in the least bit attractive. Opinions aside, I think we can all agree that this song is absolutely horrible.

4. Tubthumping by Chubawumba

Let's face it, this song had an energy to it that was infectious...for a little while anyway. But it's repetitiveness and annoying soccer game chant style chorus wore our patience for it thin and the song became as tired as the lead singer's faux-hawk.

As an aside, I had no idea that Chubawumba was actually comprised of the children of the corn. I also thought the "pissing the night away" part was sung by a woman. The things you learn...

And the emotional finish:


5. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

What is there to say? This song hits all the hackneyed trademarks of a shitty easy listening song: the Irish flute intro (a standard since riverdance, just like the haunting, vaguely middle eastern wailing we hear a lot in movies today), the vocals building to a swelling climax, the crappy drum machine beat. A mediocre song attached to a mediocre movie lifted to great heights by boredom and longing for romance of housewives all over the globe. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy most of the work of Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and James Cameron (although they all pale in comparison to the acting powerhouse that is Billy Zane).

One last thing, this song didn't make my final list because I didn't think of it in time ( and doesn't count for voting), but I think it deserves mention:

That's right, riding the post Vanilla Ice demand for white rappers we have Snow, or "Superb Notorious Outrageous Whiteboy". Don't let his Irish roots and suburban canadian ubringing fool you though, he spent a year in prison just prior to this single becoming popular. And yes, I do own a copy of his debut album 12 Feet of Snow.