The Moustache.

Flaming Pumpkins

Next house project: Trebuchet.

Know Your Pocomoke

"What an excellent day for an exorcism."
"You would like that?"
"Immensely."
"But wouldn't that drive you out of Pocomoke?"
"It would bring us together."
"You and Pocomoke?"
"You and us."


1. A famous and beloved singer died yesterday at age 73. Who was this legendary crooner, and what Pocomoke party featured his music?

2. One thing you might not know about Pocomoke is that we are currently displaying several original pieces of art. Name the two paintings that hang to the right of the front door and on the opposite wall of the living room.

3. What's haunting 1605 Pocomoke?

(Answers to be revealed later this week.)

Know Your Office Cast Member

Who knew Angela was from Texas and speaks Indonesian? Thanks for sending this on Stephanie.

Codename Lan Jevinson

I ran across the webpage of Melora Hardin, who plays Jan Levinson on the office and thought it was worth sharing, mostly because of its ridiculousness.

To All You Mac Haters... Er, My Roommates.

From PC World Magazine: "The fastest Windows Vista notebook we've tested this year is a Mac. Try that again: The fastest Windows Vista notebook we've tested this year--or for that matter, ever--is a Mac. Not a Dell, not a Toshiba, not even an Alienware.

The $2419 (plus the price of a copy of Windows Vista, of course) MacBook Pro's PC WorldBench 6 Beta 2 score of 88 beats Gateway's E-265M by a single point, but the MacBook's score is far more impressive simply because Apple couldn't care less whether you run Windows."


Oh snap! And it comes with the "iLife suite of software"... and instant hipster street cred!

Meanwhile, in Middle America....

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

First of all, sorry for the delay in posting the correct answers to last week's "Know Your Pocomoke." All four of us happened to be out of town this weekend, and it was the hock that suffered. On to the answers:

1. An honest mistake was made on this question. I wrote that we all lettered in "completely non-academic disciplines," but it turns out that Matt lettered in Diving, which takes at least some rudimentary athleticism. On the other hand, Matt also lettered in Marching Band...which fulfills the "somewhat embarrassing pursuit" criterion. As for the rest of us: Tom lettered in Forensics, James lettered in It's Academic, and Richard recieved a letter for his excellent work on the Math Team.

2. Average age of Pocomoke residents = 25
Fishtanks = 3
Tiki torches = 18 (yes, I actually went outside and counted them)
Car accidents Tom's been in this year = 1

25 x 3 + 18 - 1 = 92

3. Next time you're at Pocomoke (particularly if you're here sometime around 10 AM - 1 PM on a weekend) ask for a Pocomimosa. You'll get a delicious concoction of white grape juice, creme de cassis, and Miller Lite. Don't worry - it's much, much better than it sounds.

McHammer

Girls's Costume Warehouse

For any of our female readers who are still looking for a costume:



Old, but funny.

The Sellout Quotient

Here at Pocomoke we don't read newspapers and in general avoid media because of its liberal agenda. This article from the Washington Post happened to slip through however and is worth passing on. The author has come up with an equation for quantifying how much a band has sold out. And the name for this index of selling out? The Moby Quotient.

I'm not really sure what pi has to do with selling out or why it is involved with the equation. (no "vicious circle" jokes please)

Who's Going to be An Inventor?!?!?!?!?!..... James!

200-What is Pittsburgh

400-What is the Internet

600-What is Ruff

800-What is the 8th of December

1000-Who is James

Congratulations to all our contestants. And by the way Lydia, this was the jeopardy round, the values doubled in 2001 so in double jeopardy the max is now 2000.

A Bollywood Minute

For those of you that were big fans of YATTA! (and the Original)we bring you this clip from India:

Two Words: October. Road.

Here's a bit of news that should warm J.G.'s heart on this rainy fall morning:

"Sources confirm that October Road will kick off its second season on Thursday, Nov. 22, at 10 pm, immediately following Grey's Anatomy. It will then relocate to its regular Monday/10 pm timeslot on Nov. 26. (TV Guide)."

That's right - in just three weeks we'll find out the dramatic conclusion to Owen's trip to Big Boy Bret's place in Jersey. And we all know Big Boy Bret is trouble.

Know Your Pocomoke

Pocomoke is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

1. During their high school years, the four residents of 1605 Pocomoke all lettered in somewhat embarrassing pursuits. Name the completely non-athletic disciplines in which they competed.

2. In honor of Matt and Richard taking the GREs this week, a math-related question:

Take the average age of the residents of Pocomoke, multiply by the number of fish tanks currently operating within the house, add the number of tiki torches we own, and subtract the number of car accidents Tom has been in this year. What do you get?

3. Name at least two of the three ingredients of a Pocomimosa (hint: think "Pocomoke Chardonnay" mixed with another beverage commonly served at Pocomoke).

(Answers to be revealed later this week.)

The Ruffalog: Honoring America's Greatest Thespian

It's no secret that the Hock-N-Blog holds actor Mark Ruffalo in high regard. He's this generation's Brando - and what's more, he's a real gentleman. He is the standard by which the Pocomoke crew strives to live up to, if such a feat were humanly possible.

So it should come as no surprise that we wanted to honor this great American in a special way. May I command your attention to ...

The Ruffalog: A New Blog Honoring America's Greatest Thespian!

http://ruffalog.blogspot.com

Who's Going to Be An Inventor!?!?!?!?!

"Potpourri"

$200 - This "City of Bridges" 300 miles southwest of Scranton will host the December 2007 Jeopardy contestant tryouts.

$400 - This modern media was the method by which contestants were vetted for the event.

$600 - This is the sound a doggy makes.

$800 - The date on which the event will take place; also the day in 1940 on which the most lopsided game in NFL history was played.

$1000 - This resident of Pocomoke started his illustrious career in trivia as a member of his High School's It's Academic team.

The answers after these messages:

Edit: Our readers may not have realized that this was in fact a "Know Your Pocomoke" quiz. feel free to write in your responses.

Richard and Matt... They're GRE-at!!!

Best of luck to Bex and the Ol' Bear, our two specials boys, who this week will undertake one of academia's greatest feats - the Graduate. Record. EXAMINATION!

Feel free to quiz them on vocabulary words and simple arithmetic. And give them a firm pat on their behinds when you next see them for being such super, duper scholars.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #13: Diversify your currency holdings as the dollar weakens. I suggest purchasing significant amounts of Albanian 'leke' in anticipation of its rise as the leading global currency.

Slinky Dance

Trippy

Delusional Fighting Irish Fans

I know most of our readers aren't huge sports fans, but this "Real Men of Genius" parody about Notre Dame football is too good not to post:

Guns Don't Kill People, SkyNet Kills People

So apparently a "robotic" antiaircraft gun malfunctioned in South Africa and killed nine of its human masters. Fifteen others survived with injuries. No word yet on whether they have joined the Tech-Com resistance army. Further details about the incident can be found here.

Abercrombie Prank

I love it. And let's be honest, if anyone deserves it it's Abercrombie & Fitch. The full report can be found here.

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

1. James went as Commander Riker, while Tom dressed up as Lieutenant Data, the U.S.S Enterprise's friendly android. Let's just say that those handsome interstellar voyagers might be making a return to Earth in about a week and a half...

2. Tom avenged Matt. Then Matt accidentally hootenanied Ricardo's car while trying to retaliate.

3. I admit the nicknames were a little tough:

a) "Hot$crotch" is another name for our Old Bear, Matt. He earned the nickname "Hot Crotch" one night while trying to drive home with a blazing hot Elevation Burger bag in his lap. A subsequent typo in SingStar led to the name Hot$crotch.

b) As many of you guessed, "JSizzle" is our friend J.S. Taylor. You might have met him at Pocomoktoberfest, where he single-handedly put a world of hurt on the keg of Old Dominion.

c) "Heavy D" is our name for our upstairs neighbor Delores. She's not literally heavy - in fact, she's very slender. But sometimes we hear her walking around above us and it sounds like she's dragging a piano across the room. Or one of those old-fashioned safes that always fall on people in cartoons. By the way, I love that someone referenced "Juicy" by Notorious B.I.G. in their response:

"It was all a dream, I used to read Word Up magazine, Salt'n'Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine"

A Sweet 16 + A Decade = Richard

We would be remiss if we didn't mention that 1/4th of the Pocomoke Crew, Bex "Night Moves" Big Knuckles Beckman, celebrated a very special birthday yesterday.

It seems like just 2 years ago I met the lad at a spry 23... how quickly they grow. (Actually, I met him when he was 12, however he claims not to remember it. But he's not convincing anyone. It was special for both of us, Richard... both of us.)

Use our comments board to send Bex a special birthday greeting!

The Travails of Tom: Hard Work Pays Dividends

I'm sure you all are wondering: where has Tom been these last few weeks? Even here at Pocomoke, we barely see our bright-eyed scholar. Did he finally make that trip to Niagara Falls? Has he taken up a new hobby, like stamp collecting or kite flying? Nope. In fact, the reason why he's been MIA lately is because he's been hitting the books harder than a corncob to the crotch at Pocomoktoberfest. Every evening he straps up his schoolbooks and scurries off to catch up on his studies.

Though we miss hanging out with the Big Cat, we couldn't be more pleased with the results of his hard work. He came home from school last night beaming and bursting with news (he also walked right into an ambush of flying corn....but that's a story for another day). The reason for his good cheer was soon revealed: yesterday he earned his first "A".

While we're all proud of his academic achievement, we can't let him rest on his laurels. The next time you see our erudite friend, make sure you tell him to keep up the hard work. The sky's the limit for this clever young man!

I'm sure all of you are wondering: How did the guys from Pocomoke get the skills necessary to run a successful blog with a daily readership in the tens of ones? Well, it wasn't easy, but if Gabe and Max's plan could work for a bunch of fire-fearing Luddites like us it could work for you too!

This One's Also For You, Old Bear

A better quality version can be found here.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #12: Sleep with your secretary, but never trust her. The Russians have spies everywhere.

Know Your Pocomoke

A day may come when the courage of Pocomoke fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of woes and shattered shields, when the age of Pocomoke comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight!

1. In their younger and more vulnerable years, Tom and James used to go trick-or-treating together as characters from Star Trek. Which characters did they choose?

2. Who used Pocomoktoberfest as an opportunity to avenge a hootenany, and against whom?

3. To which individuals (either residents or friends of Pocomoke) do the following nicknames belong? Extra credit for last names.

a) Hot$crotch
b) JSizzle
c) Heavy D

Oblivious Tiny Dancer (Possibly NSFW)

I found this absolutely hilarious, even though it is borderline creepy. I think what makes this video is how completely oblivious the girl appears to be to what's going on behind her. Seriously though, her parents need to cut her off from the MTV.

Sky Flying

The whole idea of base jumping always seemed odd to me, But this sky flying thing looks really cool.

Andy Punches

For those of you who missed SNL last night (hopefully due to attending a party), here's the new digital short:

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

1. The name "Pocomoke" is derived from a southern Maryland Algonquin Indian word meaning "pierced ground," most likely a reference to the slash-and-burn seasonal horticultural practices of the local Algonquin-speaking natives. More specifically, our street is named after the Pocomoke River, which flows across Eastern Shore of Maryland (although it apparently rises in Delaware, so Lydia was technically right). The name also refers to river's head of navigation at Pocomoke City, Maryland, and its mouth on the Chesapeake Bay at Pocomoke Sound. There have been whispers of a house pilgrimage to our ancestral home some weekend...don't worry, we'll hock-n-blog the whole thing.

2. The correct answer is Walker, Texas Ranger. We used to record WTR, but had to stop when Tom got too excited while watching it and Matt ended up with a vicious roundhouse kick to the face. Just kidding. Seriously though, I'm not sure what it says about our house that we record The Big Bang Theory, Grey's Anatomy, and Mythbusters.

3. There are two correct responses to this question: 1) in Tom's fantasies. 2) Donald Sutherland, Sam Elliott, and Dale Earnhardt are all nicknames we have for regulars at the Forest Inn, our local dive bar. "Leatherface" is the self-explanatory name for the type of ladies one might encounter at said establishment on a Friday evening. I love that place.

Cringe Worthy

I don't know why, but there seems to be a lot of Star wars themed videos on the interweb these days.

My question is, what is worse:
The interpretive dance
The "futuristic" lazor sounds
The actual trumpet playing

The Dambusters: A New Hope

Know Your Pocomoke

Pocomoke. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

1. If you wanted to visit the namesake location of Pocomoke Street, to which state would you travel?

2. Which of the following TV shows is NOT scheduled to automatically record on Retrospecticus, the Pocomoke DVR?

a) The Big Bang Theory
b) Mythbusters
c) Grey's Anatomy
d) Walker, Texas Ranger

3. Where can you find Dale Earnhardt, Donald Sutherland, Sam Elliott, and multiple Leatherfaces in the same place at the same time?

(Answers to be revealed later this week.)

What's with the all these hootenannies?

Avid readers! You've no doubt noticed the recent spate of corn flying through the air, trouser-level, towards your beloved old bear. What gives, you ask? A jab at old bear's follicular foibles? An attack on his ecological ethos? Even the threat of some kind of organized assault?

Rise up, my ursine comrades! Join old bear's cause and let's give these detractor's their comeuppance! 'Round these parts, there's only one way to answer a hootenanny: with more hootenannies.

In the meantime, here's a little something to cheer you up:


Edit: For people interested in the full video it can be found here.

This One's for You Old Bear

An Interesting Bit of Movie Trivia

For the uninitiated , the Wilhelm scream is a sound clip that originated in the 1950's and has since been popularized by its use in Lucas/Spielberg movies. These days it's use is somewhat of an in-joke for the movie industry. Here's a video highlighting its appearances, including such gems as the Star wars Holiday Special and Howard the Duck (although I don't remember that scene from the movie):

On Observing Naked Midnight

It has come to my attention that there may be some confusion regarding the observation of Naked Midnight at 1605 Pocomoke.

Naked Midnight may occur at any time once it is called by a resident of the house between the hours of 23:30 and 00:30. If possible, it should be accompanied by a scotch on the rocks.

Please make note of this.

Leftovers

Since we don't really get a chance to throw fresh hock on this blog over the weekend, here are some quick notes from the past few days:

1) Last Thursday, October 4th, we set a site record for number of visits in a single day. So thanks to everyone who stopped by...we promise to keep the hock coming.

2) Speaking of records, temperatures in the D.C. area today are expected to exceed the previous record high of 85% set on October 8, 1990. Remember to ask Matt about his "global warming is a myth" theory the next time you see him.

3) We're all busy on Friday nights. But if you have a DVR, then there is no excuse not to watch Friday Night Lights on NBC.

4) Quick reminder: Pocomoktoberfest next Saturday. Not a whole lot to say about this that hasn't already been said in the evite, but if you liked the May 19 BBQ, the 7-7-07 BBQ, or pretty much any Pocomoke party you've been to, you'll probably enjoy the Pocomoktoberfest.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #11: Corporate espionage is only illegal if you're caught. Cover your tracks carefully.

300 Greeks Couldn't be Wrong

For our reader in the DC area I wanted to put the word out that St Katherine Greek Orthodox Church is having their greek festival this weekend. For the uninitiated, this is a great place to stock up on homemade greek food and desserts with which to sustain yourself over the coming weeks. Admission is free, and the festival is open 11AM to 10PM until Sunday the 7th. Apparently this year they're riding the coattails of 300 in their advertising (great slogan by the way).

Normally I'm not a fan of viral advertising, but what can I say, I'm a sucker for clamation:

I'm not sure if this was one was done without computer effects like the other bravia ads. I think my favorite is still the one with all the explosions.

Seeing as we have many virtuosos of the stringed instruments here at Pocomoke, I thought this clip might be of some interest:



The gauntlet's been thrown, perhaps Fire Road will rise up and answer the challenge?

A Perilous Voyage... to the Hornblog

For new readers of the Hock-N-Blog, you may be surprised to learn that the 1605 Pocomoke crew runs a second blog dedicated to the fair naval hero, Horatio Hornblower.

A new post ran today on our sister site and I strongly recommend a gander. It's just a hop, skip, and jump away on the internet:

http://horatiohornblog.blogspot.com

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

Once again, these questions might have been a little too easy. Most of you got these right (except for the last one):

A) Tom...by a mile (ha!). Seriously, I think Tom stuck with it for most of the season. (But thanks for the confidence, Lindsey. I hope this doesn't mean you have to change your vote back.)

B) Richard was once a certified member of the Computer Geeks (not to be confused with Geek Squad, Geeks on the Go, or the Geek Boutique....alright, I made that last one up). Though he has long since moved on to other endeavors, Richard continues to provide in-house Beck support at 1605 Pocomoke.

C) Trick question. The correct answer is "all of the above."

Wierd sports from around the world

Here's a top 10 of weird sports played in various places, mostly in Great Britain.

Why is this article so interesting? Because it's fun to laugh at people who are different than us.

Seriously though, did anyone else want to watch Tron after seeing the Jai Alai clip?

The Juice is Loose

If anyone here's a fan of Jamba Juice there's a buy one get one free printable coupon for them here.

Apparently it only looks for their "functional" smoothies. Feel free to comment on what you think a dysfunctional smoothie would be.

Know Your Pocomoke

The first rule of Pocomoke is - you do not talk about Pocomoke. The second rule of Pocomoke is - refill the Brita pitcher after you get a glass of water, for pete's sake. Honestly, how long does that take? 10 seconds? You can't spare 10 seconds? Really? Anyway, on to the weekly quiz:

1) Tom and James both made ill-conceived attempts to join the Langley High School cross country team. Who lasted longer?

2) Before landing his current job, Richard worked for a company that dispatched computer-savvy individuals to customers' homes to help resolve their technology-related problems. Name this company.

3) What insects are currently infesting 1605 Pocomoke? A) ants; B) spider crickets; C) centipedes.

(Answers to be revealed later in the week.)

The Travails of Tom: A Student's Progress

After a shaky first couple of weeks, Tom has wisely decided to rededicate himself to his academics. No more skipping class and getting into trouble on the streets for this schoolboy. He even brought home a B on his second paper (we're assuming that's an 8 out of 10, not 100). We're all so proud of him.

Corn Crotch Countdown

12 Days, 17 Hours, 35 Minutes...


Watch out, Ol' Bear. There's an outstanding 'hootenanny' that's coming your way.

The Funniest Show You've Never Seen

Just wanted to make a quick TV recommendation: How I Met Your Mother, which airs Mondays at 8 on CBS. I feel the need to stick up for this show, since I don't think it gets nearly the credit it deserves. It might not be in the same league as classics like The Office and Always Sunny, but it's probably the most underrated comedy on TV.

I think the problem is that most people classify the show as "relationship humor" or lump it together with lame CBS comedies like Two and a Half Men. In reality, How I Met Your Mother is like a weirder, more creative, and much less feminine version of Friends. Neil Patrick Harris makes a glorious return to network TV in a cast that also includes band camp legend Alyson Hannigan and Knocked Up's Jason Segal. The show is about a group of 20-something friends who are growing into their careers and relationships, told from the perspective of the main character to his future children. The plot is advanced with the help of a Wonder Years-style voiceover narrated by Bob Saget. Unlike Friends, relationship-related drama is kept to a humorous minimum and the show doesn't fall into the trap of taking itself too seriously.

So if you're bored some Monday night, and you've already read and re-read the latest offerings from Hock N' Blog, you should definitely give this show a chance.

SNL: Iran So Far

Usually Bex is our resident YouTube expert, but I couldn't resist calling your attention to perhaps the best SNL (that's Saturday Night Live, for our over-40 readers) segment in a year.

Not only is it timely, it also contains a mid-90's era type ballad complete with children's choir at the end offering supporting vocals (a la R. Kelly's 'Gotham City' on the Batman and Robin soundtrack - a classic!). Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhBQxbxAcLg


Edit:

I believe what Nico was trying to show you was this clip:



Maybe someday he'll leave linktown and join the rest of us in embedding his clips...
-Bex