Mayor Releases Stray Dogs into National Forest

In one of the most bizarre, hilarious, and ultimately tragic stories of the week, an Arkansas mayor decides that his city's stray dogs should be freed to roam a nearby federal forest. Wow.

Arkansas city releases shelter dogs into national forest

Little Rock -

Mayor James Valley of Helena-West Helena says he has no problem with dogs or other animals. He just believes that strays in his east Arkansas town are better off in nearby national forest than the local animal shelter.

The city's animal shelter was so run down a regional humane society worker cut the locks last winter and released all the dogs, the mayor said. The city then moved the operation to a temporary fenced-in area outdoors at the city sanitation department.

Still, people complained that the animals were not properly cared for at the temporary quarters, so the mayor decided the dogs would be better off fending for themselves in the St. Francis National Forest.

Valley said the city street director released about 10 dogs into the forest Wednesday after the animals were fed and watered. About three dogs were kept to be put down by a veterinarian, he said.

"They are better off free," the mayor said Thursday in a telephone interview.
A spokeswoman for the U.S. Forest Service said the agency was not contacted by the city before releasing the dogs, and does not condone releasing animals into the forest.

"In the code, it is illegal to release animals, livestock or abandoned personal property on national forest land," Tracy Farley said, adding that only occasionally does the agency find stray dogs in the forest that someone may have abandoned.

http://www.helena-arkansas.com/news/x1470883524/Arkansas-city-releases-shelter-dogs-into-national-forest

If Only My Diploma Came With a Starbucks Coupon...

www.theonion.com

In Case You Missed It: The Price is Wrong

Japanese "The Office "

Italian TV is Awesome.

A New Take on Ladies of the World

Cool (But Long) Graffiti Animation

Big Cat's Big Playlist

... and here's your winning playlist - at least it should be. Remember, this is the playlist you would be most embarrassed to play while walking around a crowded area with a boombox on your shoulder. Let's begin:

1. "Who Let The Dogs Out?" by the Baha Men

Our playlist kicks off with one of the most obnoxious song in recent memory. Remember the summer of 2000? Chances are this song was your soundtrack for the summer. It gets grating with each subsequent listen, until you're just numb to it.



2. "What a Girl Wants" by Christina "Xtina" Aguilera

Another classic from the summer of 2000. This pop ballad was Xtina's bold second single, proving that she wasn't just a one hit wonder. As much as we might have wished she was.



3. "Believe" by Cher

I really can't summarize this better than the Ol' Bear. So I echo his remarks and commend him on his equally good (or bad?) taste.



4. "Time After Time" by Cindy Lauper

This classic 1985 Grammy Award winning song by Lauper is now only allowed to be played in jest or by emo bands as an ironic cover. It's also terribly catchy. And lame.



5. "So Far Away" by Carol King

This is our closing ballad. Carol King poignantly asks, "Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?" Not when this song is on, they don't. Nonetheless, this is our house dedication to the Ol' Bear during his long "hibernations" away.

A Day in the Life of John Mayer

Mixtape Voting

Well, it's been a week so I guess our loyal readers should go ahead and vote on who had the worst mixtape. Voting is open for the next week, and perhaps by then Tom will grace us with his list.

Bextacular Mixtape

Alright, for my mixtape I went with songs that are instantly recognizable, and overly popular in their day for some unknown reason. Personally I blame payola. Last, and most importantly, the songs should be embarrassing should you have to walk around a city blasting them from a boombox. Anyway, here we go.

1. Barbie Girl by Aqua

Who knew a song about how easy a girl is would be so popular, especially among tweens?

2. MMMbop by Hanson

Yes, great minds thought alike on this one. Although I don't have an endearing tale that connects it to my childhood, I just think it's a shitty song. From the moaning at the opening to the indecipherable lyrics.

3. My Humps by Black Eyed Peas

It hurts me that the Black Eyed Peas have fallen so low. They used to be a respectable hip-hop group until they decided they needed more T&A in their act and added Fergie. Who, by the way, is not in the least bit attractive. Opinions aside, I think we can all agree that this song is absolutely horrible.

4. Tubthumping by Chubawumba

Let's face it, this song had an energy to it that was infectious...for a little while anyway. But it's repetitiveness and annoying soccer game chant style chorus wore our patience for it thin and the song became as tired as the lead singer's faux-hawk.

As an aside, I had no idea that Chubawumba was actually comprised of the children of the corn. I also thought the "pissing the night away" part was sung by a woman. The things you learn...

And the emotional finish:


5. My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion

What is there to say? This song hits all the hackneyed trademarks of a shitty easy listening song: the Irish flute intro (a standard since riverdance, just like the haunting, vaguely middle eastern wailing we hear a lot in movies today), the vocals building to a swelling climax, the crappy drum machine beat. A mediocre song attached to a mediocre movie lifted to great heights by boredom and longing for romance of housewives all over the globe. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy most of the work of Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, and James Cameron (although they all pale in comparison to the acting powerhouse that is Billy Zane).

One last thing, this song didn't make my final list because I didn't think of it in time ( and doesn't count for voting), but I think it deserves mention:

That's right, riding the post Vanilla Ice demand for white rappers we have Snow, or "Superb Notorious Outrageous Whiteboy". Don't let his Irish roots and suburban canadian ubringing fool you though, he spent a year in prison just prior to this single becoming popular. And yes, I do own a copy of his debut album 12 Feet of Snow.

My Worst Mixtape

Let’s kick it off with the magnum opus of late 90’s electronica: Sandstorm by Darude. Your average alarm clock produces rhythms that are less grating and more complex than DJ Darude’s keyboard, yet somehow this song became one of the best-selling international singles of all time. Just hearing the first few bars of this techno-ballad pumps the listener full of both adrenaline and an overwhelming sense of urgency – sort of like an air raid siren.

The second song on my mix boasts an impressive pedigree: it received Grammy nominations for Record of the Year and Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group, and the date of its album’s release was even declared an Oklahoma state holiday. You guessed it - MMMBop by Hanson. I’ll always remember this ditty because it was chosen (by popular vote) as our middle school class song. It’s worth mentioning that legitimately classic albums like Reasonable Doubt, Evil Empire, The Score, and Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness were released during the same two-year period. Looking back, though, this song was actually an appropriate choice; Hanson’s album sums up Cooper Middle School like The Chronic sums up early 90’s Compton.

Time to slow it down a bit and bend our ears to Gordon Lightfoot’s 1976 ballad The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. “Hey, that’s not a bad song,” you might say – provided you had never actually sat down and listened to it from beginning to end. Seriously, it’s not a terrible song at all…just really, really weird. Haunting and extremely monotonous, the ballad commemorates one of the worst shipping disasters in the history of the Great Lakes. Have you ever felt anything but depressed after listening to this song? Under what circumstances would anyone actually put this song on a mixtape? Could you imagine ever playing this song at any gathering (party, sporting event, wedding, etc.), even ironically?

My fourth song is also a tribute of sorts – in fact, you could even call it a tribute to a tribute: American Pie by Madonna. Don McLean was never able to able to reduplicate the popularity or cultural impact of his all-time classic, written as an allegory for the decline of American music following Elvis’ conscription in the Army in 1958 and the tragic deaths of Buddy Holly, Richie Valens, and J.P. “Big Bopper” Richardson the following year. By chopping the record down to 4 minutes and putting it in the soundtrack of a romantic comedy, Madonna was able to not only symbolize the decline of American music but also hasten the process.

Although Old Bear’s excellent mixtape was dedicated to the year 1999, I feel that he left out one of the worst and most memorable songs of that year: Bawitdaba by Kid Rock. I think we can all remember “that guy” at our high school who was waaaay into Kid Rock. He’s the same guy who put fake bullet-hole stickers on his car and followed the WWE until college. There’s not a whole lot else I can say about this song, so I think I should let the lyrics speak for themselves: “bawitdba da bang da dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie.”

"1999"

This compilation is titled - simply, elegantly - "1999." That's because this tape could have been made that year...or today, the songs are just that timeles.

Especially our first track, which was number one on the charts. "Believe" by Cher will be remembered by many as one of her least creative ever. In fact, she doesn't even sing the whole thing - she gets a robot to fill in for her on the big notes.

But the 90's didn't belong entirely to dolled-up robot-sirens. It was a Golden decade for country music, as well, and what better way to cap that decade than by the most memorable, most sing-alongable, most tape-worthy country song ever made: "Something Like That" by Mr. Tim McGraw. Show me where the ambiguous passion of youth has been better captured than in the phrase: "I had a barbecue stain on my white t-shirt/ you were killing me in that mini-skirt." If you're NOT a fan of country, it doesn't get worse than this.

In 1999, we all found ourselves at one time or another hanging out the passenger side of our best friend's ride, trying to holler at someone. That's why "No Scrubs" by a feisty little trio known as TLC makes number 3 on our list. If you're a scrub, you may as well just stop listening now.

And if you really want to make someone uncomfortable, give them a mix tape with "The Bad Touch" by Bloodhound Gang on it. These guys are just sick. If you don't remember the lyrics, google "Discovery Channel."

But don't walkaway in disgust quite yet - just one song left! This one is from the undisputed king of 1999. If you thought our world leaders were arrogant that year, you must be forgetting that the Willenium was upon us. That's right - the Fresh Prince himself and a helluva guy, Will Smith with his eponymous "WILL 2K." No better way to usher in a new willenium than with a Clash remake and heavy references to a Prince song from almost 2 decades earlier.

So, whether you were graduating high school, or just graduating sophmore year , 1999 was a year - and a mixtape - that none of us will ever forget. No matter how hard we try.

The Contest

Inspired by a hilarious clip from Human Giant, we decided to hold our own "Bad Mixtape" contest. The rules:

1. Make the worst five-song mixtape possible.

2. You can't use any of the songs from the Human Giant sketch.

That's it. Anything else goes. We'll be posting our selections over the next few days. After the final mixtape is posted, feel free to chime in with your vote on who can pick the absolute worst songs.

Not Earth Day NSFW

Look Harder

Have you seen this logo? It's for the British Office of Government Commerce. More importantly, can you visualize it rotated ninety degrees clockwise?

From The Register

SNL: Death by Chocolate

Oddly hilarious.

Click Here to Try Drugs

Want to try drugs? Now, due to the convenience of the internet you don't even have to leave the comfort of your own home! Just head on over to www.trydrugs.net and you're on your way!

Rejected Star Wars Merchandise

Ran across this article on some ideas for Star Wars merchandise that never made it to production. I have to admit, if I had slightly less shame I might have bought some of these.

Not to Overdo it With the PSA's

Sexual Harrasment in the The Office

And to celebrate the return of The Office, The Office Quiz from Mental Floss. I only managed to get 67%

Guinness Earns Her Keep

If you've ever enjoyed a cup of joe at 1605 N. Pocomoke, you might have wondered what makes our coffee so unique. Matt's shiny, gourmet coffee maker? James' expert and loving bean grinding?

Nah... turns out it's all in the beans. Beans that come from Guinness.

Well, not yet. But based on this article, you'll be able to enjoy Cafe a la Guinness soon enough!

World's most expensive coffee at £50 a cup comes to British stores...and it's made from cats' droppings

"It might not be to everyone's taste - and that's not just because at £50 a cup it's the most expensive coffee in the world.

The secret behind the special blend about to go on sale at an upmarket department store is that it is made from cats' droppings..."

"The bean is rare, with less than 450lb harvested each year.

The beans are extracted from the droppings of the palm civet, a cross between a cat and a monkey which lives in Indonesia.

The civets eat the soft coffee cherries, digest the fruit pulp and excrete the beans on the forest floor, because they cannot digest the beans.

Plantation workers then collect the beans, which are sold as Luwak coffee.

The civets are said to pick the best and ripest coffee berries.

It is also thought that their gastric juices may add to the flavour."

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=558540&in_page_id=1770&in_a_source=

Mario Paint Song

Apparently the Nintendo fanboys have a late entry into the music made from system sounds battle. It would be cool if it could make it into Mario Kart Wii that's coming out later this month.

Guinness' Habit of the Week

Habit #3: I much prefer defecating in the plants in the living room than my litter box. Not so much a habit; more of a statement, really...

Why haven't we been posting lately?

(Multiple choice.)

A. Having grown bored with the overwhelming success of Hock N' Blog and looking for a new mountain to climb, we decided to devote all our efforts to the Ruffalog.

B. We finally hung the dartboard. Thirty seconds later, a stray dart destroyed the nearby Fios box.

C. Big Cat traded in his laptop for a brand new MacBook Air...and all he got was an empty box.

D. I'm not sure about the details, but somehow this is all Lydia's fault.

E. Sheer laziness.

星探(Find Stars, Waste Time)

First of all, have you seen this man?

If you enjoy finding stars, this is the game for you.

And if you can't get enough, here's the sequel.



(It had been a while since we'd posted a picture of Mark Ruffalo)

Today's Weather

I don't know why I find that so funny

Las Jovenes Emos

Apparently all is not well in the land of tequila and cacti. Good find Chris.

Part Mop, Part Puppet

Who knew the Muppets were still funny?


It's actually not too bad an impression.

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers (Belatedly) Revealed

Hey, do you remember a few weeks ago when I last posted a Know Your Pocomoke? Well, I finally have the answers for you:

1. The Riverdance incident occurred at O'Sullivan's. At Ri Ra you're more likely to be mauled by a cougar than trampled by a Riverdancer.

2. As Easy Points correctly surmised, Old Bear is the only Pocomoke resident who has not yet visited Ireland.

3. Big Cat's family came to our land from the fertile County Kilberthark. His great-great-grandfather Seamus (known to his friends as Old Seamus Swift-Hands) was a fisherman in the village of Gathaberway, along the fair cliffs of Charhallagheen. Of course, I'm making this all up. I have no idea where Big Cat's family is from, and he probably doesn't either.

4. NYE may not be drinking-themed, but it certainly is drinking-focused. And personally I think they're both over-hyped.

Scientology

An Inside Look Into a Growing Industry

Slow-mo Slap

Apparently one of our readers thinks our content has gone down hill of late. Well, this bitch slap is for you Gassy D.

Good crop today, mostly because I had most of the day off...

The Aptly named clip "Why Italian Restaurants Failed in Dubai"



And now a brief interlude:



I think the funniest thing about that clip is how serious the guy looks, and that he has a whole series of youtube videos including such classics as Sweet Child O' Mine and an emotional rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Looking for new ways of using google maps? How about finding crack?

And for those of you who really don't want to get anything done today how about a delightful jigsaw puzzle?

And finally a Japanese reenactment of the song We Are the World (if one thing from the 80's deserves to be celebrated, it was that video):


I think the Bruce Springsteen guy is the best, although the Cyndi Lauper one could actually be Cyndi Lauper, so maybe that wins. It's a shame they didn't do some of the other singers like Bob Dylan or Steve Perry.

Introducing: The Potentials

Move over iTunes

Typography

So, some guy made a documentary called helvetica about typography and now everyone with a typographical fetish is coming out of the woodwork and making videos on youtube.
Par example:


If you're the type of person that enjoys such things more can be found here

Jewno

Is it wrong to post jewish video on good Friday?

Relationships

This one's for you, Jimmy Carter

Know Your Pocomoke

I heard on the radio today that while Ireland itself has a population of 9 million people, there are 37 million Americans who claim Irish descent. By conservative estimate, I would say that this number swells to approximately 80 billion on St. Patrick's Day. So happy St. Patrick's day to both the Irish and the Irish at heart.

Personally, I'm still a little wary of Irish people after nearly being killed by a couple of Riverdancers a few weeks back (this actually happened).

1. While we're on the subject, at which Clarendon bar sometimes frequented by the Pocomoke crowd did the Riverdance incident occur?

2. All but one of the Pocomoke residents have visited the Emerald Isle at one point or another. Who is the odd man out?

3. Though we all enjoy a good pint of Guinness from time to time, only one true Irishman resides at 1605 Pocomoke. From which Irish county does Big Cat's family hail?

4. Which drinking-themed holiday is more overrated: New Year's Eve or St. Patrick's Day?

Answers to follow later this week.

Guinness' Habit of the Week

Habit #2: Bex's door doesn't latch and opens with only a slight push - even a cat can do it. But run away before he sees you opening his door or there will be hell to pay. Trust me.

Awareness

The Robot

He's committed, I'll give him that.

SeaWorld

What's with all the Michale Jackson imitation videos out there? Is this some viral comeback campaign or something?



Now we know why it costs $60 to visit SeaWorld (worth checking out their site just for the music).

Return of the TrapperKeeper of Secrets

As our loyal readers may remember, there exists in Pocomoke a book filled with so many dangerous secrets that it must be guarded vigilantly by the most powerful product available at your local CVS, Walgreens, or Rite Aid: The TrapperKeeper (of Secrets)!


Secret #27: JG's beer is made out of malt, yeast, and the many tears of his lonely youth.


What other horrors lie in this book. Only time will tell, dear readers. The TrapperKeeper of Secrets is closed... for now.

Traffic

I can't help but think of the beltway when I see this simulation:

Forget American Hegimony, Check Out IKEA's Cultural Imperialism

In international news, the Danish are accusing Sweden's IKEA of cultural imperialism by naming the cheapest and most pedestrian products with Danish words and the best with Swedish words. Certain readers of this blog were correct to be skeptical of IKEA and their intentions (you know who you are). I'm just saying we should be on alert in this new front in the Scandanavian "culture wars."

"An analysis by two Danish academics found that the Swedish furniture store Ikea gives its "better" products Swedish and Norwegian names, while "lesser" products are christened with Danish names. An analysis by a blogger on a Germany-based Web forum also reached the same conclusion.Here's the hierarchy:

Tier 1, Swedish: Upholstered furniture, bookcases, and multimedia consoles get the names of Swedish towns. Example -- the Kramfors sofa.

Tier 2, Norwegian: Beds, dressers, and hallway furniture are bestowed with the names of Norwegian towns. Example -- the Leksvik bed.

Tier 3, Finnish: Chairs and dining tables are christened after Finnish towns. Example -- the Harola chair.

Tier 4, Danish: Doormats, runners, and inexpensive carpeting get Danish names. Example -- the Roskilde rug and the Köge doormat.

The hierarchy, an example of "Swedish imperialism," sends the message that Denmark is the doormat of Sweden, one of the academics said in a Feb. 14 article in the Danish newspaper Nyhedsavisen."

Courtesy of FP's Passport at http://blog.foreignpolicy.com.

Why People Don't Watch Hockey

Guinness' Habit of the Week

Habit #1: Legs are humans' least-guarded parts of their body. Attack them whenever the opportunity arises.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #21: When buying a house or condo, make an offer greater than the list price to confuse the seller. The element of surprise always gives you the upper hand. It also gives you the appearance of being wealthier than you may actually be.

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

1. I actually thought that Big Cat and I had this one wrapped up, having first met in September of 1992. But it turns out that Old Bear and Bex beat us by a year: the two of them met in the fall of 1991. There is no general consensus on when Big Cat and Bex first made each other's acquaintance (seriously).

2. The place was named Clarendon Kaleidoscope and it was owned by the father of a friend of ours. Having a friend whose dad owns an arcade where you can play all the games for free sounds pretty cool, right? Like a dream come true for a couple of 13 year olds, you might say. Well, the dream lasted for approximately two hours before Big Cat and I managed to screw it up. I won't go into the circumstances surrounding our banishment - just know that it involves a harrowing tale of deceit, lies, deception, and minigolf.

3. Your reckless comments seem to have only encouraged Big Cat. Hey, did I ever mention the time that he tried to take a lit tiki torch into our kitchen?

4. I was originally thinking of something a little more generic, along the lines of "Our House" by Madness or the theme song from Family Ties. But the readers have spoken (all three of them) and "Istanbul, Not Constantinople" it is. If Big Cat goes through with his fire plan, he can take "Burning Down the House" as his personal anthem while the rest of us adopt "We Didn't Start the Fire."

Know Your Pocomoke

1. You probably know that Big Cat and JG were elementary school classmates, while Bex and Old Bear also share a grade-school alma mater. Who met first: Big Cat and JG or Bex and Old Bear?

2. Name the now-defunct arcade from which Big Cat and JG received a lifetime ban in seventh grade. Hint: it was located only a few mintues away from Pocomoke.

3. Christmas is gone but not forgotten at Pocomoke. Though we reluctantly took down the ol' Tannenbaum over Super Bowl weekend, it currently resides on top of the "compost" heap in the corner of the backyard. Meanwhile, Big Cat has reiterated his intention to stand the tree up inside the fire pit and set it aflame. This isn't really a question - just an invitation to send Big Cat your thoughts on why this is such a terrible idea.

4. If you could pick a theme song for 1605 N. Pocomoke, what would it be?

Answers to follow later this week.

Optimus Prime

If you haven't seen the original it can be found here.

Flugtag

Apparently all the profits from selling Red Bull were put to educational use.

For the Minimalists in the Audience

Ever wonder what the Garfield comic strip would be like if it didn't have Garfield in it? Wonder no more:

It's Bennigans!

Guess what tomorrow night is: half-priced burger night at Bennigans!


Mmm... I can taste those bland, chain hamburgers already! Actually, I can't. Although most of the Pocomoke crew has taken to a Bennigan's feast every Wednesday, I have class and am unable to join them.

But stop on by your local Bennigans and bring the kids, I think you'll find some friendly Pocomoke faces. "It's Bennigans!"

System Sound Music

So a few weeks ago someone (possibly Japanese) decided to get creative with the system sounds that come with windows and make a song. Personally I think the results are pretty good:


Now, this being a supremely creative endeavor the mac camp of course can't let it go unanswered, since we all know that really creative people all use macs. This is what they came up with:



Seriously? Is that the best you can do? Although I find it fitting that the mac one looked better with its rounded buttons despite its lack of musical substance.

Kimmel (NSFW)

The feud continues with hilarious results. I find it impressive they were able to get this many celebrities.



If you missed the Matt Damon one it's here

Fix Social Security

Want to retire someday? Too bad, you won't be able to... unless we fix Social Security. The Democrats and some Republicans don't want to do it, so that means it's up to you!

Try your hand a saving Social Security by playing this game:

ttp://www.actuary.org/socialsecurity/game.html

Editorial Cartoon of the Year

Courtesy of the Onion, by far the best mock editorial cartoon of the year... or maybe ever. Take note of Lady Liberty crying in the window and the odd commentary of the cartoonist in the bottom right. It really captures the absurdity and inanity of most Tom Toles cartoons in the Washington Post.



http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/feb-18-2008

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #20: As a business owner, you should secretly review your employees' health care records periodically; then fire the chronically ill to cut health expenses and build a stronger workforce.

Voting And You

Coach K

In honor of Bob Knight's retirement here's a video of his greatest quotes, compiled by someone else:

Campaign

In honor of Super Tuesday here's a dated political strategy game. Think of it as battle chess with a political theme.

Aloha

Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? Even the people in the infomercial looked uncomfortable in it.

And Now, A Brief Interlude

Carry on, Ron Burgundy

Do you think Kansas is embarrassed that it took Six of them to perform the song when one teenage girl can do it on an organ? Probably not, seeing as the song made them rich.



And if you've got the spare time to let it load you can see a video of Will Ferrell screwing around on CNBC's Power Lunch.

Red Crab Migration

Cat on a Dorphin

A very Japanese game to get you through the weekend (or Monday morning). basic plot: fling the cat in the air to keep it from drowning, but be sure to catch it and take it to the end of the track because the cat wants to be there apparently.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #19: Effective time management is critical to success. Hire a secretary to help you with your schedule and assist with daily activities. If you cannot afford a secretary, consider a day-laborer with nominal English proficiency to ayudar con tu horario.

Ever Wondered What an Anthill Looks Like on the Inside?

If you don't have a crazed fascination with ants feel free to skip to about 3 minutes in where they drown the hive in concrete and excavate it. I love how they gloss over the fact that they are destroying the entire colony in order to study it. But what the hell, they are only ants.

So, Why No Support for "Future Tom"?

You may have noticed, or even voted, in the current poll on who will be the first to take down the Pocomoke Christmas Tree. And it's currently a dead-heat with one notable exception: no one has voted for me.

Now, I'm assuming this is our readers' recognition for my love of Christmas and indoor pine trees.

I mean, what gives?! I did, in fact, purchase the tree and, with James and a Mexican gentleman, strap it to the top of my car in the rain!!

Ahem... moving along.

Let's take a closer look at the odds for our final 3 contenders:

Future Matt: Matt is a responsible and thoughtful citizen and roommate. Emphasis on the thoughtful, however. Matt's unhealthy levels of Guilt Disorder (GGD) would prevent him from taking the initiative until all other roommates had agreed that it was time for the tree to come down. Plus, he has a laundry list of chores to deal with in his basement suite before turning his attention to the living room. Odds: 1/20.

Future James: Although James has a much more normal level of GGD, he loves Christmas more than anyone else I know. If it were up to him, the tree would stay up year round. However, James' greatest fear is death by a tree falling on him - which haunts him nightly. Can he reconcile his love of Christmas with his fear of trees? Further, his first priority is brewing and his roommates encourage him in this endeavor so as to have bountiful supplies of homebrews. Odds: 1/4

Future Richard: Richard is the odds-on favorite for this event. He has to look a the tree every morning leaving his room, and it reminds him of a joy that only comes once a year. A joy that he will not know again until December 25, 2008. Also, the tree has taken the place of a beloved rubber tree plant (I know, it's actually called something else, but I don't know how to spell it). The aching reminder of happier times and love of live plants makes him a leading contender. However, his desire to teach his roommates a lesson about personal responsibility complicates matters. Can he reconcile these two desires? Odds: 1/2

Tom Cruise on Scientology

To be honest, I never really understood the morbid fascination with Tom Cruise and his Scientology faith. Sure, it's a weird and exploitative cult, but what else would you expect from a creepy twice-divorced lilliputian who has a Japanese national holiday named after him?. So I didn't think it was a particularly big deal...until I saw this video.

Keep in mind that this footage, though edited, was originally intended as pro-Scientologist propaganda. If this is the stuff they WANT you to see, what on Earth or the Galactic Confederacy are they hiding??

Some More Interesting Links

For those that have to work on Tuesday:

Which country has the most spoken languages? The winner may surprise you.

And the winner for best use of the word tessellate: This guy. And I am totally with him in this.

Does this remind anyone else of Jabba's barge in Return of The Jedi? Better hurry if you're interested, only two left in stock.

And finally, what do you get when you combine rap with excel? Charts!

Network TV is Back... Sort of.

Who needs writers when you can just make fun of the Germans?


And, everything's better with bacon.

Untangle

Here's another fun timewaster for those of you stuck at work today. The game is called Untangle, and if you can't figure it out you need help.

Smackdown

If you were around the weekend before NYE, you probably had the pleasure of meeting two old friends of Pocomoke: Cliff and Josh. These two once accompanied JG, Bex and yours truly on a very special voyage of discovery across the lower 48. They also once tried to box each other. This is their story (don't worry, it's over pretty quick):

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #18: Time is money. Use the start of the new year to end friendships with those who don't benefit you financially.

The Dangers of Local Warming

Unfortunately 3 out of the 4 residents of Pocomoke are contributing to the problem.

Just a Few Random Links To Get Your Throught the Day

We all know about Volkswagen, but what other companies rose to prominence during the Third Reich?

For those with interest in such things, 20 weird scientific experiments.

Why do I have the sneaking suspicion Old Bear is thinking about getting a pair of these.

And finally, ever wonder what Lenin's up to?

A Quarter Century Young

You can't tell the story of 1605 N. Pocomoke without our good friend Lydia, who has probably contributed more content to this blog than Tom and Matt combined. For reasons unclear to us she willingly endures our lame jokes, cruel nicknames, and general lack of social grace. We've all benefited greatly from her prowess as a chef; I am specifically reminded of the occasion on which Richard told her to make him the "unhealthiest cake possible." She congratulates us when we are at our best and never hesitates to point out when we are at our worst. She is the fifth member of our house, sharing in its victories as well as its defeats. Today Lydia celebrates her 25th birthday and on behalf of 1605 N. Pocomoke I would like to extend our most sincere good wishes. Happy Birthday Lydia - we grant you the gift of immortality on Hock N' Blog!

Small Car vs. Ninjas on Roller Skates

My question is, why couldn't they find black roller skates? Seriously, pink wheels? And apparently the best way to beat them is to drive up a slight incline.

Normally I'm not one to jump on the whole ninja bandwagon, but it seems they are having a comeback (thanks for the link Chris).

Sword vs. Machine Gun

Not exactly Knife vs. Handgun, but cool anyway. At first it seems that the gun wins hands down, then you realize the earlier bullets were split in half.

CES Intro

Apparently when you're the richest man in the world you can not only afford to make fun of yourself, you can also afford to pay celebrities to do it for you.

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

Here are the somewhat belated responses to last week's Know Your Pocomoke:

1. Matt and Richard once started a house fire in El Paso, Texas. This occurred on a cross-country road trip, so they had a great excuse to hit the ol' dusty trail before the arson investigators showed up. But down along the Rio Grande folks still tell tales of the Flaming Desperados.

2. Alphonso joined us for a late night chat during a pit stop in North Little Rock, Arkansas. I can't remember the details of the encounter except that it convinced us to get back on the highway and seek lodgings in Little Rock proper instead.

3. The circumstances surrounding this event are sketchy and greatly disputed, but historians generally agree that Big Cat launched the first handful of fruitcake. He attempted to hide his identity by dressing in Old Bear's clothing (which we DO have pictures of). As the incident occurred in international waters, the Laughing Fruitcaker was never brought to justice.

4. At the time I posted this question, Mr. Bitey, armed with natural feline inquisitiveness and the blind confidence of adolescence, was getting dangerously close to opening the cage that held Banana, the king snake who was staying with us at the time. The pets' owners have since decided to separate the two, but if you ask me we were getting close to an all-too-vivid example of curiosity killing the cat.

Have an iPhone? David Lynch hates you.

Cursor*10

Here's a clever little game that won't test your knowledge of geography. It took me a couple of tries to get the hang of it, but once you do it's fun trying to maximize your score and compliment your previous moves.