Shootenanny

I think we all know what's about to happen here...

Know Your Pocomoke

Hope everyone had a merry Christmas! Hock N' Blog returns to full time action with this week's KYP:

1. In which U.S. city did Matt and Richard once start a house fire? Coincidentally, this occurred during the same trip that the game "Hot Pants" was invented.

2. Speaking of road trip disasters, name the city where a street prophet named Alphonso once climbed into the car with us to share his views on police brutality.

3. Who instigated the Great Fruitcake Debacle of 1998?

4. Who would win in a fight to the death, a large (but non-venomous) king snake or a feisty 10 week old kitten?

(Answers to be revealed soon.)

Magic Baguette

Funny French Bread! - The most popular videos are a click away

Traveler's IQ

Here's a fun game to test your knowledge of geography. I got up to level 11, but didn't have enough points for 12. Sometimes the hardest part is figuring out where these cities are without natural features to guide you (Russia and Canada are hard). We have a pretty well traveled group of friends, so write in your scores (unless you're too embarrassed).

Lolcats

I would like to congratulate Tom on his excellent copy and paste skills. However, he neglected to post the picture that started it all:
Here are a few more notable examples for those unfamiliar:
Or my personal favorite:

LOLMATTZ: A Primer

Ol' Bear was mighty confused when this picture recently popped up on your favorite blog.



It appears that he missed out on 2006's mildly amusing viral internet hit: lolcatz. It's hard to believe he missed this trend... I mean, the only way you could miss it is if you spent much of the year out of the country!

But I digress...

Per Wikipedia - Lolcats are images combining photographs of animals, most frequently cats, with a humorous and idiosyncratic caption in broken English (also known as Kitteh apparently). These images usually consist of a photo of a cat with a large caption.

Common themes include jokes of the form "Im in ur noun, verb-ing ur related noun."[11] "I has a noun" pictures show a cat in possession of an object while "Invisible noun" show pictures of cats apparently interacting with said invisible object.[11] "My noun, let me show you it/them" pictures are accompanied by cats apparently presenting or offering an object. Another common lolcat displays a cat with a specific look, which is described by adjective, and the text, "[adjective] cat is not [adjective]"[citation needed] or "Your offering pleases [adjective] cat." A version of this is also stated as "adjective cat is not amused", or "[adjective] cat has run out of [adjective]" (when the cat in related picture seems to be feeling the opposite of the adjective used to describe it.)

Example:


Or my personal favorite:


Be on the lookout for new lolmattz in the new year. Of course, reader submissions are more than welcome.

The Scandal Breaks

International Scandal: Don Cheadle Planned Darfur Genocide To Create Film Role

He Blue Himself

Papa Smurf Lives!

Something Old, Something New

If you're going to dig up Nemoy's embarrassing past, you've got to post Shatner's:

Make sure you at least skip ahead to the awesome late 70's special effects toward the end.

And now, taking the mashup concept one step further, a fresh cover:

Ballad of Bilbo Baggins

Unlike Bex, I never know which internet videos are "fresh" and which have already made the rounds. Since the following hilarious clip was posted a couple of years ago it's very possible that you've already seen it:



The song was actually recorded by Leonard Nimoy on his 1968 release The Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy. The video was originally aired in 1967 on the variety show Malibu U. My questions: was the dance completely ad-libbed, or did a professional choreographer actually tell them to move like that? Were the girls supposed to be hobbits, or are they Bilbo's dwarf companions? Why do their buttons say "Hobbits Unite"? What does that even mean? And where I can get one of those awesome sweatshirts?

It's Back: Lost.

Between October Road and Lost, we're in a new golden age of television.

LOLMATTZ

Vote Nietzsche

Ryan Adams Doesn't Endorse, He Tells You How It's Gonna Be

Look, I know you're all sick of Tom and I talking about October Road. But if we can't convince you to watch the show of a lifetime, maybe noted Road fan and slightly overrated musician Ryan Adams can...via his inspirational new music video featuring the show's cast:

Big Cat's Big Week

Feel like you haven't seen Big Cat around much in the last couple of weeks? So do we. For a while there, we were getting a little worried about ol' Carrotface. Poor Guinness, filled with the new and confusing emotions of adolescence, began to develop abandonment issues related to her absentee father. Unable to deal with these strange feelings, she acted out by pooping on things. So did Richard and I.

But rest assured that Tom's not trying to avoid you - it's because he's been busy writing finals and making braille textbooks available to blind college students (seriously). And his hard work is finally paying off. Not only is he done with school for the next month, he was was recently awarded a distinguished fellowship that only goes to 4 Republican congressional staffers a year. Four staffers...out of 120 offices.

So the next time you stop by Pocomoke, make sure to greet Tom with a big smile and a hearty slap on the back. The Big Cat has earned a little catnip.

The Pocomoke Christmas List: Addendum

I believe our previous post on our Christmas wishlist neglected the newest resident of Pocomoke (and I don't mean the family of Romanian immigrants we're renting Matt's room to): Guinness. For those of you looking for something get Tom's feline, might I suggest a stylish wig.

Zero Punctuation (NSFW)

My friend 49 showed my this series a few months ago and I'm hooked. Basically, it's a fast talking video game review show with an irreverent sense of humor and hilarious flash animations. I've embedded the review for guitar hero 3 below because it has mass appeal, but who's even mildly into videogames should check out the the rest of them here.

A Growing Epidemic

"I'll Take Cardiac Arrest for $400, Alex."

Regular Hock-readers will recall that last weekend, J.G. and his loyal aide-de-camp Bex traversed to Pittsburgh for J.G.'s audition for the hit television quiz show, Jeopardy.

But no sooner did J.G. pass the audition and get placed in the contestant pool (huzzah!) that we get this troubling news from the great state of California!


Alex Trebek has heart attack

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Alex Trebek, the long-time host of the popular television quiz show "Jeopardy," suffered a minor heart attack at his home Monday night.

Trebek, 67, was recovering at a local hospital, and it was not clear when he would be released, a representative of the show said. He is expected to resume taping the show in January.

The representative added that Trebek did not have any previous known condition that would have led to the heart attack.

Trebek, 67, is a native of Sudbury, Ontario. He has hosted "Jeopardy!" since 1984.

Prior to becoming "Jeopardy!" host, he served as emcee for a number of game shows, including "High Rollers," "The Wizard of Odds" and "Battlestars."


All of us here at Pocomoke wish Alex a speedy recovery so that he can resume taping and call up J.G. to compete ASAP!

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

Behold the answers to this week's KYP!

1. Matt's old apartment was in the Cavendish, a.k.a the Cav. My favorite thing about the place was that for a while there he was using an old Coors Light can as a TV antenna. Classic Old Bear.

2. We'll accept Lil' G. The specific answer I was looking for was "Mr. Bitey." Other possible responses include Garbage, Special Agent Jack Bauer, and Pooper III.

3. Namita's research was impressive. But Tom and I did not attend the presitigious Langley School (known locally as Little Langley). We went to Spring Hill Elementary, home of the Spring Hill Panthers. Our newspaper was therefore named "Paw Prints."

I do have to print a retraction here: Tom was the sports editor of Paw Prints, not the editor-in-chief. However, he later served as editor-in-chief of his creatively-named middle school newspaper, the Middle School Times.

Lord of the Jeopardy: The Fellowship of J.G. and Bex

Many of you already know that Pocomoke native, J.G., has been invited to audition for Jeopardy in person this weekend. And we're not talking about children's Jeopardy... this is the real deal.

Much like Frodo and Sam in The Two Towers, J.G. and his loyal sidekick Bex set out in sleet and freezing rain this afternoon for the mythical city of Pittsburg in the great state of Pennsylvania.

Aside from dangerous conditions, what other perils await them as they enter into the industrial mecca of Pittsburg? Only time will tell.

Keep your eyes on the Hock-N-Blog for the latest updates on our two adventurers!

And, in the meantime, they might do well to heed the following advice:

Win At Yelling

As we all know, about a year ago our very own Lil' Kitten joined a gym and became Big Cat. Except Big Cat didn't really get that big. In fact, he's still pretty much the same size. Which makes one wonder; what is he doing wrong? I've heard rumors that he accidentally got a year membership to a turkish bathhouse instead of a gym and is too embarrassed to admit it. But being the consummate optimist I am, I prefer to think that he's just drinking too many protein shakes and not enough of this:


And yes, this is a real product. I believe the video is from the same people who brought you Powerthirst

Know Your Pocomoke

Christmas is in the air, the first snows of winter are on the ground, and the house smells of rich pine (and, to a lesser extent, cat droppings). Here's this week's KYP quiz:

1. Before moving to Pocomoke, Matt had a pretty sweet setup in Pentagon City. Name his apartment building, and feel free to share your favorite memory of the place.

2. By now you've heard about our newest roomate, Guinness (see below if not). But of course no one gets to use their real name at Pocomoke. What is her nickname?

3. Name the elementary school newspaper of which Tom once served as editor-in-chief. Subquestion: is it appropriate to put "Editor-in-Chief, Elementary School Newspaper" on one's resume, or does Tom need to make some updates?

As always, answers to come later this week.

Meet Our New Roommate

It seems like every time Ol' Bear leaves town, we pick up a new roommate.

In April, James wandered his way in off the streets and we just didn't have the heart to send him back out in the cold.

And now, I'd like to introduce you to our new roommate: Guinness (the cat, not the beer).

Guinness is 7 weeks old, hails from Harrisonburg, Virginia, and enjoys stalking inanimate objects and sleeping.

Big Cat and Carolyn picked her up Saturday evening and she made the treacherous journey to Pocomoke on Sunday.

She's settled into Pocomoke nicely and now acts like she owns the place.

High-Five

One More Thing For the Christmas List:

The Pocomoke Christmas List: First Edition

Christmas may be a time to count our blessings, but it's also a time to obsess about all the stuff that's missing from our lives. And even though we have it pretty good here at Pocomoke, there are still plenty of things that could make our house even better. Here's a list of what we're wishing for this Christmas (subject to updates from now until December 25th):


-Nintendo Wii, and plenty of gauze and neosporin for all the video game-related fistfights that will inevitably ensue
-For Landlord Joe to fix the upstairs toilet
-A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time
-Anything from Sharper Image
-For the writers' strike to end before the new season of Lost begins
-Another "Die Hard" sequel
-For a good bar to open in Westover so we don't have to risk our lives by going to the Forest Inn
-For some kindly intruder to break into our house and finally hang up the dartboard
-A hula hoop
-To never, ever see the John Mellencamp "This is Our Country" Chevy commercial again
-A razor and shaving cream for Tom
-More Mark Ruffalo in our lives
-For all our readers to have a safe and happy holiday season (but we'll take the Wii if we only get one)

Who is James Goodwin?

As many of you know, I am auditioning to be a contestant on "Jeopardy!" next weekend. As part of my audition I have to make a list of 5 interesting facts about myself for the on-air interview with Alex in case I make it to the studio. If you've seen the show you know that contestants are usually asked about tidbits like hobbies, travel, career goals, embarrassing moments, and such and such. In an epiphany that should probably encourage me to reevaluate my life, I realized last night that I can't think of 5 interesting things to say about myself. So I need your help.

What facts about me do you think I should mention? Of course, whatever I list has to be appropriate for network television, which effectively rules out stories about any events that may have take place during Rings of Fire I and II or Pocomoktoberfest. And I can't make up anything, either. I could never lie to Alex Trebek. The man's a legend. Let me know if you come up with anything.

The Pocomoke Crest

This time of year, most folks buy wreaths to put on their front doors to add some holiday cheer. However, Pocomoke has never been known as a conventional place - we need something better.

Therefore, this holiday season I'm proposing creating a Pocomoke Crest for our front door that would laud our achievements to friends and intimidate our enemies.

We're looking for suggestions for symbols that represent the residents of Pocomoke. And conveniently, there are exactly four squares on your typical crest.

For example, would J.G.'s square be a beer bottle honoring his brewing and drinking abilities? Would Bex's be a computer or a symbol representing his prompt attention to taking out the garbage? Would Old Bear's symbolically represent irrational levels of guilt? And how can one symbolize "greatness" for Big Cat's square?

We need your help. And remember, this is something sociological anthropologists will study years from now when they try to make sense of Pocomoke - so let's get it right.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #17: Make time for fun. Consider buying cheap securities in the current sub-prime mortgage crisis to foreclose on poor families during this holiday season.

Excerpts from the TrapperKeeper of Secrets

Secret #14:

Tom's parents are first cousins. The "tonsillectomy" he missed a week of school for in 1992 was really an operation to remove the webbing from between his toes.

Know Your Thanksgiving: Answers Revealed

Hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving! Here are the answers to our special Thanksgiving edition of KYP:

1. As Namita observed, this was sort of a trick question. You'd probably guess turkey, but you'd be wrong. Squanto taught the pilgrims how to catch eels. That's why every Thanksgiving our mothers heat up the oven and bake a delicious eel. In fact, I'm eating a leftover eel and gravy sandwich right now.

2. The last float of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is occupied by Santa Claus, thus officially kicking off the Christmas season.

3. At the same time that most of us are gathering around the table with family and friends to enjoy our eel, stuffing, and mashed potatoes, several activists gather near Plymouth Rock to celebrate the National Day of Mourning. The event serves as a reminder of the hundreds of thousands of Native Americans who were killed or displaced by the arrival of European settlers in New England. In recent years the day has been dedicated to Leonard Peltier, a Native American activist currently serving consecutive life sentences for the murder of two FBI agents during a 1975 shoot-out. (Some organizations, including Amnesty International, consider Peltier a political prisoner).

4. As Lydia said, our favorite traditions are too long and esoteric to post here. But I think we can all agree that nothing tastes as good as an eel shared among family.

(PS: Hey Adam, thanks for blowing up my spot with the Wikipedia comment.)

Thanksgiving 2007: What Pocomoke is Thankful For

Thanksgiving provides a good opportunity to stop and reflect on all that we have to be thankful for. Here are a couple things Pocomoke is thankful for this year:

Retrospecticus and Becktron (Our homemade tivo systems)
Spider-crickets
Our neighbor above, Heavy D
The Fire Pit and it's predecessor, the Ring of Fire
Seagram's 7
Homebrewing
Panda Express
The writings of C.S. Forester
... and of course our good friends and loyal audience.


Wishing you and your families a great Thanksgiving,

The Pocomoke Crew

An Educated Blog

We here at Pocomoke always knew we had a highly-educated audience, but a recent analysis of our writing was downright flattering - for both the authors and the audience.

The 'Blog Readability Test' scans blogs to determine the intelligence of the blog's audience based on comprehension (ex. big words).

Give yourselves a big pat on the back, Hockers, for you have been classified as:



I guess you could say that on this blog, we're all Cambridgemen.

Know Your Thanksgiving

We all know that Thanksgiving is a time to appreciate the things we are most thankful for - family, food, and football. Here at Pocomoke, we are thankful for Thanksgiving itself. So rather than ramble on about ourselves this week, I thought it might be nice to focus this edition of Know Your Pocomoke on the holiday we hold so dear.

1. The American Thanksgiving celebration is traditionally associated with a New England harvest feast shared by English settlers and the indigenous Wampanoag indians in 1621. The Pilgrims were particularly grateful to Squanto, a former slave and intepreter who taught them how to catch and cook this animal.

2. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade has been a staple of the holiday since 1924. After the marching bands and cartoon balloons have all gone by, which float traditionally ends the parade?

3. Not all Americans celebrate Thanksgiving. What is the name of the holiday that thousands of Native Americans (among others) choose to observe on the fourth Thursday in November instead, and to which convicted murderer is it dedicated?

4. In a bizarre tradition that some claim dates back to the tenure of Abraham Lincoln, the President officially pardons one or two turkeys on Thanksgiving. To what magical place are the birds then sent to live out the rest of their days in peace?

5. What is your favorite Thanksgiving tradition?

Best Campaign Ad Ever

Look, I realize that 99% of you will have already seen this by the time I post it. But I'll put it up here just to be safe:

Countdown to the Television Event of the Year

2 Days, 10 Hours, 25 Minutes.

Join the Knight's Ridge gang for a special season premier of October Road. You can bet Pocomoke will.

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #16: During this special holiday season, remember to give thanks to those who matter most in your life: your stock broker, hedge fund manager, and "bag man."

A Mystery Solved? Peering Inside the Pocomoke Rainforest

In last week's Know Your Pocomoke I made a reference to the hardy plants that are currently scheming to take over our living room. As I mentioned in the post, we've never been sure exactly what species they belong to. Many have speculated that they came to this country from somewhere down South America way, maybe Argentina, Portugal, or Brazil. We've taken to calling them "rubber tree plants" even though they clearly are NOT rubber trees. Some (like me) are convinced that they are definitive proof of extraterrestrial life. Thanks to Bex's diligent research, however, I now have some more information to give you:

Philodendron selloum

Our plants appear to be members of the genus Philodendron, which includes over 1000 distinct species. We were right about at least one thing: many species of household philodendrons originated in tropical South America. So it looks like we can close the book on this Pocomoke mystery...at least for now. Their aggresive growth and apparent indestructibility still makes me suspicious that we may be harboring alien life forms. Or even worse, they could be nosferatu - the Undead!

Where are your Hock-N-Bloggers?

Programming Note: This week, we're operating at 50% capacity as Ol' Bear and Big Knuckles are out on the open road. Where, you ask?

Bex is busy spreading Thanksgiving cheer out west. He will also be introducing wild turkeys to Grand Canyon state.

It's back to college week for the Ol' Bear. He'll be checking up on Little Bear and treating him and up to 2 friends to a "fancy dinner."

But fear not, JG and Big Cat intend to keep this blog so chock full of content, it will be the envy of every Jerry and Jane on blogspot!

Keep your eyes peeled this week for more Know Your Pocomoke, Habit of the Week, the conclusion to our Gingerbread caper, and a very special Thanksgiving post.

The Culinary Arts: Pocomoke in Gingerbread

Have you ever wondered what the dashing residents of Pocomoke would look like if they were baked as cookies? Of course you have, and so have we.

On cold and rainy fall evening, we decided to put our baking abilities to the test. Fortunately for us, an actual artist - culinary and otherwise - intervened. Will Carolyn be able to successfully pull off this challenge? Have her years of study and practice in the field of art history prepared her for this feat?

The following photos document this momentous occasion...



Our talented chef/artist mentally prepares for the challenging task before her. Culinary scalpel in hand, Carolyn understands the magnitude of this baking endeavor.



The gingerbread pallet proves more difficult that originally anticipated. Forsaking the scalpel, the artist turns to a pizza cutter in a moment of desperation.



The gingerbread pallet is complete and ready for baking - but how will they turn out? Tension runs high.



Having witnessed the process, Big Cat is skeptical. With 7 to 11 minutes of baking at 350 degrees ahead of them, he understands the complications that can arise at this critical stage in the process.


DING! Was that the oven? No, our oven doesn't have a timer... its far too old.

But will the outcome be delicious or tragic?

Find out in the next installment of The Culinary Arts: Pocomoke in Gingerbread - Part II.

Actione! Velocita! Terrore! Suspenso!

TrapperKeeper of Secrets

Shhh... did Big Knuckles follow you? Are you sure Ol' Bear's gone for the week?

Ok, what I'm about to share with you stays between us. For many years, the residents of Pocomoke have kept a book - nay, a TrapperKeeper - filled with house secrets.

Why? Because that's the only book secure enough to keep them... until now.


Secret #1:

When one of his fish babies recently died, James claimed one of the bigger fish ate it.

James ate it... alive.



The TrapperKeeper of Secrets is closed - for now.

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

I know I promised you loads of original content this week, and we're already falling slightly behind. But don't worry - we're working on some new features to enhance your Hock experience.

Onto the correct responses:

1. The hallway light outside the front door of Pocomoke is green. This is a remnant of last Christmas, when we tried to amp up the holiday spirit by putting red and green bulbs in the hallway light fixture. Well, it turns out that when you put red and green bulbs next to each other they combine to give off a pale, sickly, and very un-Christmassy color. So we just went with the green bulb, which gives the effect of Christmas...on a UFO. The other option was to just put in the red bulb, which we reckoned would give the wrong idea about what exactly goes on at Pocomoke. But how awesome would it have been if we had chosen the red bulbs and people nicknamed our house "The Red Light District"? That would have been so cool.

2. Not surprisingly, no one knows exactly what species the plants in our living room are. All we've heard are vague claims that the plants are "from Brazil." They continue to thrive despite the consistent neglect we've shown them. And they're already looking for ways to escape into the world at large: next time you come to Pocomoke, remind me to show you the grooves on the floor from where they've sent roots out from they're flowerpots. I'm dead serious. Did you ever read that children's book series The Plant That Ate Dirty Socks? I'm convinced that's the kind of mutant flora we're dealing with. Someone should alert the authorities.

3. Given the fact that so far in this post I've already referenced a) falling behind on a commitment I made; b) leaving up Christmas decorations for a year; and c) neglecting houseplants, I'm guessing that no, we're probably not ready for dog ownership.

Hilarious (But Probably NSFW)

Any guesses on how old that girl is? And did anyone else hear the father say something about it being before her Bat Mitzvah? Maybe she was going to post it on smooze.com

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #15: There is nothing more important than the relentless pursuit of profit - not your family, friends or integrity. They are merely obstacles to your fiscal greatness.

Cowbell Hero

How Not to Flip Over a Car

Pig Punch

For those of you that have seen the SNL iPhone ad spoofs floating around, here's one that was cut:

Know Your Pocomoke

Upset about the 1 week hiatus from Know Your Pocomoke? Blame it on the writers' strike. But I just couldn't stay away, so I've finally decided to cross the picket line.

1) What color is the light in the hallway outside the front door of Pocomoke?

2) We all know the rainforest is shrinking. Here at Pocomoke, we're doing our part to combat deforestation. What kind of plants are currently (and somewhat suspiciously) thriving in our living room?

3) Are the Pocomoke residents mature enough to care for a dog?

Answers will be revealed later this week. And look for more great, original hock in the days to come.

Cool Air Traffic Video

The Office Is Closed

Here at Hock-n-blog we like to inform our readers as well as entertain them with tales of forgotten food. Today's issue is the Writers Guild strike out in Hollywood. At first I wasn't concerned about it, then I saw this clip and realized it could really affect my Thursday night:

Since they didn't mention them by name, I can only assume that Dwight, Angela and Creed are sitting patiently at their desks while all this is going on.

This other video does a good job illustrating the problem:


Personally I think the writers have a pretty good case, it's ridiculous to not pay them when the studio is receiving ad revenue. Of Course here at Pocomoke we watch it on our tivo without ads anyway.

Mankind Has Harnessed the Electron

...And this was best thing we could think of to do with it:

Stephen Covey's Habit of the Week

Habit #14: Remember to make time to "sharpen the saw." You never know when you'll need to use it.

Bully Proof Underwear

Cleaning the Upstairs Refrigerator: A Journey Through Time

Chapter 1. Introduction

In its most basic form, archaeology is the science of stratigraphy - examining layered deposits of material in order to recreate the sequence of events that has led us to the present. In this way, we are able to build a bridge from the past to the present. You are invited on accompany me on a journey through time as I attempt to excavate Pocomoke's upstairs refrigerator. But I must warn you that this journey is not for the faint of heart. Our voyage will bring us face to face with the moldering relics and evil demons of an ancient age.

Tom has no idea what perils await us...

Chapter 2. Condiments in the Door Shelves, Gatekeepers of the Past

These out-dated guardians of the refrigerator door were also the guardians of bacteria, probably including some fairly evolved strains of E. coli.



The most disturbing part of this voyage is that we ate some of this syrup with breakfast not two hours before cleaning the fridge (expiration date reads December 28, 2006).


Mmmmm....the breakfast of champions.


Chapter 3. Olives, Cheese, and other Unsavory Characters Loitering on the Top Shelf

These are just some of the long-expired food items taking up space in the top shelf. Not to ruin your day, but if you attended Pocomoktoberfest, you probably ate some of the ketchup and
mustard.




That makes two half-empty, expired bottles of ketchup in case you're keeping score at home.

This sour cream was in the fridge so long that it spawned its own rancid demon-child.

Chapter 4. Trick or Treat? The Lost Snacks of The Middle Shelf

Watch yourself around these artifacts fom the middle shelf. They're more sinister than they may appear.

That makes two half-empty, expired jars of salsa in case you're counting at home.

Chemical reactions had left this rancid jug of milk so puffed up that it could barely stand upright.

Even your brave guide was too afraid to open this smoothie cup, found in the far back corner of the middle shelf.

Healthy snack or food poisoning waiting to happen? You decide.

Chapter 5. The Unholy Tomb: A Harrowing Adventure at the Bottom Shelf

Like the tomb of an ancient Pharoah, the innermost sanctum of the refrigerator contained some of the most beautiful and deadly artifacts.

This was Pepsi's Christmas gift to you....in 2006.

The dessicated weaponry of a more elegant age.



Who dares open the sarcophagus?


The horror! The horror!

Seriously, the stench of rotting fish that hit me once I opened this container was so strong that it literally brought tears to my eyes. The food was so congealed to the bottom of the container that I had to blast it off with a hose. And after several attempts at cleaning, I finally had to throw out the container itself because the odor wouldn't go away.


Chapter 6. Pandora's Box: Evil Lurking in the Crisper




Think this pack of frankfurters looks appetizing? Look closer.


Malicious creatures fester within!

At last, our refrigerator is free from the terrible monsters of its past...at least for now...

Know Your Pocomoke: Answers Revealed

Here are the answers to a relatively easy Halloween edition of Know Your Pocomoke:

1. The singer in question, of course, was Robert Goulet. His music was as integral to our Turtleneck Christmas party as the popcorn strings, the chocolate fountain, the fake log fire, the Ricardo del Fuego moustache, and the turtlenecks themselves. He will be missed.

2. The two paintings are known as the Mugger and the Vomiter.

3. I would have accepted several answers for this one, including but not limited to: insecurity, lack of motivation, mutual co-dependence, the slow torture of a life without purpose, immaturity, low self-esteem, hock obsession, indecisiveness, the spector of past failures, lonliness.

It's like Jerry Springer... but in Japanese.

I often find myself wondering what TV is like in Japan. Of course, Allison has regaled us with stories of their KFC Christmas and saki-drenched cherry blossom festivals, but what do we really know about Japan?

Fortunately, YouTube bridges cultures and oceans and unequivocally shows us that Japanese TV is much like the Jerry Springer show. Enjoy this NSFW clip from the land of the rising sun.

And all credit goes to Carolyn for finding this. How she found it... well, that's a very good question... hmmm.

The Moustache.

Flaming Pumpkins

Next house project: Trebuchet.

Know Your Pocomoke

"What an excellent day for an exorcism."
"You would like that?"
"Immensely."
"But wouldn't that drive you out of Pocomoke?"
"It would bring us together."
"You and Pocomoke?"
"You and us."


1. A famous and beloved singer died yesterday at age 73. Who was this legendary crooner, and what Pocomoke party featured his music?

2. One thing you might not know about Pocomoke is that we are currently displaying several original pieces of art. Name the two paintings that hang to the right of the front door and on the opposite wall of the living room.

3. What's haunting 1605 Pocomoke?

(Answers to be revealed later this week.)

Know Your Office Cast Member

Who knew Angela was from Texas and speaks Indonesian? Thanks for sending this on Stephanie.

Codename Lan Jevinson

I ran across the webpage of Melora Hardin, who plays Jan Levinson on the office and thought it was worth sharing, mostly because of its ridiculousness.